I believe that if our marital intimacy includes anything that erodes our relationships with God, it has no place in our marriages. You may want to prayerfully examine your marriage bed and respectfully communicate with your husband to work out any issues you see. According to Ephesians 5:3-7, there shouldn’t be even a hint of sexual immorality or impurity, obscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking anywhere in our lives. No immoral, impure or greedy person has any inheritance in the kingdom of God. In fact, God’s wrath comes for those who are disobedient. First Corinthians 7:1 calls us to purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit.
I know that we humans have a tendency to bring baggage with us into our marriage relationships and working though these things can be difficult. Suffering abuse can cause a woman to fear that same kind of abuse from her husband, even when he had nothing to do with the source of her wounds. Without realizing it, she may be attempting to make her husband “pay” for the sins of someone else. If you are struggling with past abuse, please seek godly counsel and healing from God. If your husband is at fault somehow, don’t write him off and seek divorce. Instead, seek God on his behalf and yours. Remember, God is about healing and restoration, while the enemy is about death and destruction.
(Excerpt from Chapter Ten of Your Desire Shall be for Your Husband – all rights reserved by author)