Don’t try to be the Holy Spirit for your husband. Pray for him consistently and make your home conducive to Christian growth. If your husband struggles with ongoing sin, do what you can to help him…for instance, if you know your husband struggles with pornography you can keep your home free of anything that might compromise his walk. That might mean not having the internet in your home or becoming knowledgeable about the use of filters and the best internet service providers. As your husband’s helper/sustainer you don’t have to stand by helpless.
Seek God on your husband’s behalf and ask God to convict you and guide you regarding how to help your husband. Ask your husband how you can help. Be careful not to take on more than what would be healthy – remember that ultimately, your husband is responsible before God for his walk – not you.
When the need to forgive arises we need to squelch the desire to judge and condemn. Remember that the ruler we use to judge will be the ruler God uses to judge us. I’ll close this chapter with James 2:12-13, “Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!”
(Excerpt from Chapter Five of Your Desire Shall be for Your Husband – all rights reserved by author)