I believe that we are called to be godly in our marriage relationships. We cannot be truly godly if we act in ungodly ways at home when we think we are “safe.” Our homes should be safe havens not because we can act however we choose, but because we are unconditionally loved there with the love of God and family. I believe it is time to stop hiding our ungodliness at home and to be accountable to our spouses (and in some cases to our children) for our behavior.
I’ve been pondering what a truly godly couple’s relationship might look like. My main question as I’ve pondered is this, If we are living according to the Word of God and under the conviction of the Holy Spirit at home, what can we expect?
I believe we can expect to live God’s way – not our own. Instead of being intent on having our own way, we should be seeking God’s kingdom and His righteousness. We should count others as better than ourselves – humbling ourselves, looking for the good in others, and keeping our egos in check. We can work to serve others even at personal cost to ourselves – instead of expecting others to serve us. If we allow Christ to change us we can increasingly emulate Christ in what we say, do, and think – instead of making excuses about being human.
Now before you think I’m completely out of my mind and expecting some kind of ethereal, fairy tale existence in marriage, please don’t think I have forgotten that we live imperfectly in a sinful and fallen world. I know that even the apostle Paul struggled to do what was right, but like Paul, I don’t think we can wimp out and use our surroundings and the sin of others as an excuse to live in sin. As children of God, we should constantly work toward the holiness and perfection to which we are called.
(Excerpt from Chapter Two of Your Desire Shall be for Your Husband – all rights reserved by author)